Building bridges at Lake Forest College

Writer’s note: This article comes from my own experiences navigating cultural differences at Lake Forest College. By sharing conversations and stories from fellow students, I hope to spark curiosity and encourage more open dialogue about how we connect, disagree, and grow together.

When I first arrived at Lake Forest College, I was amazed by the diversity of students I met on campus. There were people from distinct backgrounds, races, and cultures – and I think that is one of the most defining features of this institution. The highlight of my visit during the summer before I committed to attending was sitting in the dining hall with a group of students from Peru, Brazil, Uruguay and Uganda. The conversations I had with them on that sunny afternoon were a huge factor in my decision to transfer here from the College of DuPage last spring semester.

However, diversity alone is not the same as connection. Since transferring, I’ve noticed that we celebrate representation, but there are few conversations about how to bridge the cultural gaps between us – how to not only coexist, but truly understand one another.

In this piece, I want to explore what it means to build bridges at the college and create a community where curiosity replaces judgment and understanding replaces assumption. It’s not a new idea, as unity among people of different backgrounds, skin colors and cultures is one of the founding principles of America, but it’s one that we must keep reintroducing – especially on a campus with so much potential to model that ideal.

When I decided to write this article, I interviewed a sample of students from Nigeria, Sweden, Kazakhstan, Chicago Ill., and Kansas to hear how they’ve experienced campus life among people with different cultural perspectives and communication styles.

Anora Ogboka, a junior, told me, “I’ve had a wonderful time here on campus, and I think I’ve found my people. I’ve barely had any experience with racial discrimination, and I love my time here.” 

Anora’s experience is encouraging, but not everyone shares that feeling.

Another recent transfer, Ashley Honore, a junior from Chicago said “My roommate, who is a female American student, wanted to design our room a certain way, and when I disagreed, she flared up in my face and even threw aside an item I wanted to use for our room. I found that disrespectful and prideful. But when I tried to confront her about it, she refused to have a conversation and instead chose to email Residence Life.”

My follow-up question to Honore was what made the situation escalate so quickly and what she would have preferred as a means of resolution. In response, she explained that although they are both domestic students, she is an African American and Mexican student from Illinois who grew up in a culture that values open dialogue to resolve conflict. Her roommate, on the other hand, did not see the need to have a direct conversation with someone she disagreed with without involving higher authorities.

Here lies the issue: a conflict of culture and communication. Although both individuals wanted the same result – unity – the methods they used to achieve it were very different. Honore noted that the situation left her feeling betrayed and unresolved, especially since she attempted to reach out via text to find a better resolution without involving school authorities. Her roommate eventually had to move out to find other accommodations. But the larger question remains: could this have been avoided? And is there a better way to resolve conflicts between individuals? I believe the answer is yes.

Emerson Davis, a first-year African American student who is also from Chicago, Ill. When I asked him whether he feels there are unspoken expectations about how he’s supposed to communicate or express himself during conflict at the College. He said, “Yes, as a basketball player, I am expected to be a lot more respectful.” 

When asked if he had experienced conflict on campus due to cultural differences, he said no. However, further discussion revealed more context. Emerson described himself as a non-confrontational person, which he defined as being the bigger person and avoiding conflict or anything that might escalate a situation.

In another interview with Chase Honarvar, a first-year from Kansas had a similar response. He expressed a similar approach when asked how he handles conflict.

“I know when there’s going to be a conflict, and I take steps to avoid it,” he said.

However, issues can arise when individuals who prefer avoiding confrontation interact with those raised in cultures that value a more direct approach.

These situations raise an important point: in some cultural contexts, people are hesitant to engage in direct conversation when disagreements arise. But avoiding dialogue doesn’t promote a welcoming campus environment. Instead, it can unintentionally create tension and misunderstanding. The only way to build peace is to first be willing to discuss the source of conflict openly and respectfully.

Is this a full reflection of the College’s culture? I would say no. In fact, the majority of students here are open, respectful, and tolerant. But when people from different corners of the world — each shaped by unique customs, assumptions and values — come together, conflicts are inevitable. The question is not whether they occur, but how we respond when they do.

A society built on wisdom and love will always find peaceful ways to resolve misunderstandings. I’ve experienced this firsthand. Once, I had lunch with my Swedish friend, Samuel Septy, junior, and we began talking about how Europeans and Africans act around each other. In Nigeria, where I’m originally from, it’s customary to greet someone you know, and not doing so can be seen as rude or disrespectful. Samuel explained that in Sweden, it’s almost the opposite. You can live next to your neighbor for years without ever saying hello, and seeing someone you know in public can feel awkward.

At first, I was shocked, but that conversation taught us both something deeper: our cultures had opposite norms, yet both were rooted in respect — just expressed differently. What could have been a point of confusion instead became a bridge of understanding.

That’s what building bridges looks like. It’s not about agreeing on everything; it’s about being open enough to listen and learn. Honore’s experience reflects a direct approach to conflict, while her roommate chose a non-confrontational path. Similarly, my conversation with my Swedish friend highlights a contrast between cultures that value direct communication and those that prioritize non-confrontation — both grounded in love and respect, just expressed differently.

It’s like eating an apple: some people enjoy slicing it, others prefer peeling it, and some eat it whole—messy but triumphant. In the same way, although all these students aim to resolve conflict, their approaches differ.

One final theme that came up repeatedly in my conversations with students was the desire for a platform or forum where they could openly learn about different cultures, communication styles, and upbringings. Emerson even suggested that such discussions should be mandatory, allowing students to listen to one another’s lived experiences — and I agree.

The College is blessed with students from a wide range of backgrounds, ethnic groups, and countries. It should do more to empower the voices of its diverse student body. Learning should not be limited to the classroom. A complete college experience includes understanding social dynamics and becoming a better citizen — one who can express love in a world filled with division. There will undoubtedly be obstacles and challenges if this vision is to move forward, but I believe it would be worth it.

After all, love isn’t always easy. It’s the willingness to remain present through harsh, messy and muddy situations that makes it meaningful. I hope we strive to understand our neighbors — whether they’re a classmate, a roommate, a teammate, a partner, or even a stranger you wave to while grabbing coffee at the library in the afternoon. As Jesus teaches in Matthew 22:39, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Our campus is filled with brilliant, driven individuals from across the world. Let us not become conceited or small-minded in how we think, speak, or treat one another. Instead of jumping to conclusions, let’s ask questions. Let’s have uncomfortable conversations. Let curiosity be our emblem, urging us toward a ceremonial cleaning of our minds and spirits. Let’s listen not just to respond, but to understand.

Every conversation we have is a brick in the bridge between us. When we approach others with curiosity instead of suspicion, we strengthen the cables that connect us all. Building bridges begins with small, deliberate choices — choosing to listen before assuming, to ask before judging, and to learn before labeling. Lake Forest has already given us diversity. Now it’s up to us to give it unity.